Philosophies of minimalism.

Before we started BNN I rarely read blogs that dealt with the idea of minimalism. I have previously considered “minimalism” in itself to be more about a particular aesthetic than a philosophy for life. I’ve been really enjoying my reading on the topic, and found myself pondering the philosophies often lately. You may have gathered that I am far from a minimalist in the material sense and it’s not something I particularly aspire to. I do, however, enjoy the idea of simplifying my life – letting go of some of the mental and physical clutter that fills space in my mind and calendar.

I really enjoyed the first six weeks of Little Fearse’s life. I had been geared to experience infinite challenges, emotional turmoil, inability to ‘achieve’ and feelings of being overwhelmed and under resourced. I did feel and experience all those things on and off, but on the whole I just enjoyed my baby. We would often sleep in until 11am because that’s what she wanted to do. I would spend whole days playing with her, holding her, watching her, reading to her, sleeping with her. On these days there was never food ready for dinner when BP got home. The washing wasn’t done, the house wasn’t tidy, the bathroom didn’t smell of bleach. And you know what? None of us suffered. In fact, we all found our lives more gentle and enjoyable for it.

Sometimes this wasn’t possible. Sometimes for whole weeks we had visitors (four lots in one day was our brain exploding record), appointments, places to be every single day. On these weeks our sleep, energy and emotional wellbeing suffered.

I have learnt that to be an effective parent I need to have down time with my baby in every week. I have learnt that to be a happy baby Little Fearse needs whole days where she doesn’t get in the car or see a new face or have a new experience.

In this world we are geared towards productivity. We are driven by a force to achieve and have proof of achievement. We are not to let our hedges get unwieldy or our kitchen floors get grubby, our windows to be streaked or our lawns to be long. We are to socialise, get out of the house, see people – be seen with people! We are to have jobs, do our chores, cook our meals from scratch – be the best, most productive people we can be. One might say like a pig, in a cage, on antibiotics. 

Musical interlude.

Back to regular programming.

Joshua Becker’s article The 10 Most Important Things to Simplify in Your Life has given me a lot to think about. I am constantly trying to multitask to get things done. I will also often jump from task to task as though I’m ticking things off an urgent mental ‘to do’ list. I find on days I do this I really crash at the end. I’ll often be too tired to make dinner, or give Little Fearse the attention she needs or even respond appropriately to BP in conversation (apparently ‘so’s your face’ is wearing thin). And my freezer might be full, my bathroom might be clean, the sixteen loads of washing might be washed and hung up and dried and taken down and put away (hahaha) but I’m useless as a partner and mother. So, what’s the point?

Becoming a minimalist is about more than an aesthetic and more than getting rid of stuff. It’s also about tidying your mind and day. Deciding what is most important because you can’t do everything. BP and Little Fearse are most important to me, followed by laughter and a sense of fun and a healthy lifestyle. I obviously need to balance that with the other sometimes necessary tasks in life. I always need to leave room for these things.

Time Stops When The Watch Breaks

I buy service station watches and wear them with pride. I have enjoyed the disposable side of this practice for many years. The watch breaks, I go to the servo and for under thirty dollars I have a new watch, in the style I like (chunky cheap metal) that will last me anywhere from a week to 5 years. Baby Fearse likes playing with my watch when I take it off at the end of the day, I guess the noise of the metal click clacking is pleasing to her and who am I to deny her that small pleasure? Long story short, she broke it.

The watch is easily repairable, the shopping centre guy that cuts keys, cobbles shoes and fixes watches would probably do it for less than $5. When it broke though I instantly thought BUY NOTHING NEW! Loudly.

Mama Fearse assured me this fell outside of BNN and is under the umbrella of “services rendered” or “repairs:” It made me wonder though, why did I instantly decide the watch was a write off?

I have really gotten on board with BNN despite initial scepticism and fear, I really enjoy finding a way around having to buy something new and am endlessly impressed with the resourcefulness of Mama Fearse, she is more the definitely built for this.

I think that I may have gotten the overall message of BNN and our recent de-clutterification of the Fearse Cave mixed up. I initially thought of disposing of the watch and just using my mobile phone’s clock from then on, like the watch was going to take up so much space that we would be better off without it anywhere near the house.

Then time stopped.

I really want this whole BNN thing to work for our family and I am enjoying seeing the sometimes subtle and sometimes large changes this is making to our environment and home.  I need to find the balance between militant minimalist and crazy consumer that I’m comfortable with, that also suits our family’s needs. I don’t know, I’m sure I’ll get there…

Some Time.

Peace

BPF

The Book Embargo

Books.  Ahh books. Ironically, I find it hard to put into words exactly how I feel about books. Well, succinctly, at least…

When I was 7 I finally got through my first chapter book all by myself. The book was called The Secret Valley. It was set in the American prairies and my Nana had bought it for me at an op shop. I can still visualise scenes from that book today, though I’ve never read it again. From then on I spent many afternoons and weekends lying in bed reading story after story. I read any Enid Blyton adventure I could get my hands on. I kept Selby’s Secret a secret. I picked a path in Choose My Own Adventure books. I was grossed out by Paul Jennings. If you put it in my hands, I read it. If you left it anywhere in my vicinity, I read it.

Even as a young child I remember hoping I’d have a reading daughter one day that I could share all these tales and adventures with. And this is where the problem began. I’ve always found it very difficult to get rid of a book I’ve enjoyed. Sometimes even books I haven’t enjoyed. Just in case someone wants to borrow it one day, or just in case I decide I need to read it again, or just in case my imagined reading daughter wants to read it one day. You might have worked out from reading this blog that I’m a real ‘just in case’ person. I have a lot of things just in case.

This year, already, I’ve managed to part with a small pile of books, but I don’t like my chances of making a significant dent. A book is also one of my favourite op shop scores. Especially if it’s a book from one of my self-imposed reading lists.

Books are easy to get second hand and they’re often very cheap, too. Even fairly recent books can often be found dotting the shelves of op shops. I’ve never been overly concerned about the possibility of not being able to find that book that I want right now during our BNN adventure.

I am making an agreement with you from right now. I am not going to buy any more books for the rest of the year. It actually hurt me typing that. And hopefully in that time I will make a dent in my three shelves of unread books. (I secretly have a lot of other unread books on the other bookshelves, too.) I’m sure I’ll find this harder than the idea of not buying anything else this year, but it’s really time I got a handle on my book buying.

This is my expansive pile of books waiting to be read. This whole baby business has sure slowed down my reading.

 

With nerves a chattering,

Mama xo

The 2-4-1 challenge might be our best strategy for BNN so far.

Since setting the challenge that each new-to-us item into the house means two items out I have noticed a marked change in my thinking. On Sunday I went to a market that sold second hand items for children and babies. I was hoping I might find bed rails or shoes for Little Fearse, or maybe even a Little Squirt (I have bid on Ebay on FIVE of these now and been outbid at the last minute for each one!). I was keenly aware that there was going to be a lot of stuff there that looked appealing, or was cute, or would be very useful to us. I took a limited amount of cash and a list of five things I could look for. Anything else I was to walk right passed.

I found three pairs of shoes for Little Fearse there, the cheapest being $1 and the most expensive $10. How could I go passed a pair of purple Converse hardly worn? (I know, I know.) I feel like we are now covered for Little Fearse’s first pair of shoes. She is walking now, not at the stage yet where she’ll need them, but soon. Each of these pairs of shoes is a different size.

I then found two sleep suits in size 2 – not technically on my list. I have been bidding on some of these on Ebay lately, also, and found that they tend to go for upwards of $30. I got these for $5 and $3, so I don’t feel bad about that at all.

Anyway, I passed by lots and lots and lots of other things that we could use now or in the near future. All I could think about was the 10 things I was going to have to get rid of when I got home.

I felt really pleased with what I brought home. Things we will definitely use. I didn’t have any buyers regret and I was able to find ten old uni readers and teaching resource folders that I don’t use to get rid of. Plus, it’s put a dent in the mess of old study things left over in Little Fearse’s wardrobe. I think that this challenge will really help with the hoarding issue, too.

Soon I am going to update the clutter collage I uploaded here. Things are looking so much better already.

Mama xo

I spoke too soon.

I really did mean it when I asked where all this stuff comes from, but I’m beginning to work it out. Today when visiting a friend we were gifted a number of items. Some of them were things we needed, some of them were things we didn’t. Now that I have brought them home BP reminds me that I have to get rid of two items for each one.

Oooh yeah, I remember that late night post now.

Due to a recent roof leak in our bedroom our already crappy curtains absorbed a lot of water and became stained. I think it’s a good enough reason to get off my butt and replace them. They are the type of cheap curtain that is bought in packs and attached by flimsy brackets. The parts are all plastic and break easily. Little Fearse likes to pull the thin plastic rods out and swing them around. They really have to go. I think I can use the material for something like an art mat or a picnic rug, as they’re rubber backed. I will definitely use it.

Anyhoo…today we were gifted a curtain rod. In exchange I will get rid of a blue stripy vase which I keep thinking is useful but haven’t used in years and a book called ‘The Musicians of Auschwitz’ which I bought in an op shop in New York and was translated from French. I will probably never read it.

I once blogged that I was worried about finding shoes for when Little Fearse starts walking. She’s already begun to take steps, so this is becoming a little more urgent.  My wonderful friend’s Mum handed down the beautiful leather shoes she wore when she was a tiny tot (circa 1980). I will add one of my pairs of shoes and a straw hat to the op shop pile in exchange for these two tiny pairs of shoes. I will also take to school for our EQ area two lovely books about feeling happy and feeling angry.

My friend also found a tiny jacket for Little Fearse. I will exchange this for a certain surprise Sesame Street themed parcel for a lovely family we know. I will also finally pass on my DVD copy of The Magical Mystery Tour. No matter how much you love The Beatles (and I do) this is a terrible, terrible film and in the 7 years since I bought it at a garage sale I have watched it precisely 0.5 times.

To solve an earlier freezing food in bulk dilemma my friend had saved a heap of take away containers for us. I am going to cheat slightly with this and exchange these space-wise with all the glass jars I took to my Dad for pickles on Thursday.

She also gave me a cotton reel holder from her Grandma’s house. This is an item I’ve been meaning to acquire (not this one in particular, but one of it’s type) for years to tidy up my sewing corner. I will exchange this for two books of old uni readings, currently taking up valuable space in Little Fearse’s wardrobe.

That was already difficult, but you know what? I didn’t even know we had some of those things. It just took a little fossicking in cupboards to find random items. I don’t have great hopes for us in the long run becoming actual minimalists, but I’ll be really interested to see how far we can go.

Mama xo

PS I’m not going to bore you with posts that list every item we get rid of in the future. The aim of this is for you to really see just how many layers and layers of things we are dealing with. I wonder if people who have less storage have less stuff or just more clutter?

My 2-4-1 challenge.

I have been doing a lot of reading lately of minimalist blogs. This entry from Born Again Minimalist really inspired me. Like the strange woman on youtube whose husband was giving her $1 for every pound of stuff she got rid of (you can hunt for that yourself) I liked the idea of challenging myself to achieve a specific goal when decluttering. I’m learning rapidly that I am personally motivated by specific and restrictive goals, especially when they’re made public, as this makes me accountable.

So, can I get rid of 100 things between now and February 15th 2014? Well, originally I thought it would be a fun challenge, but then I counted the number of things in the box waiting to go to the op shop right now. There are 44 things in the box. And those 44 things made barely a dent in the junk in our house. It wouldn’t be so difficult for us to get rid of 100 things, there is no challenge in it. We have too much stuff to begin with. Caitlin, of Born Again Minimalist began the challenge as a person with very little stuff. So we need to get to that point first.

How can we get there? Well, here is the challenge I’m setting for myself.

For every new thing that comes into the house two go out.

At the moment this is easy. I mean, I found 44 items to send to the op shop in the last three weeks. I send large boxes and bags of things to the op shop about once every two months.

Where does this junk come from?!

This is a problem we’re already addressing with Buy Nothing New. Next step, shifting the stuff we don’t need out of here. In the last week I’ve been able to pass on some baby items we have doubles of or no longer need to a variety of people who are expecting at work. That was doubly satisfying as it meant we were able to help out some new parents in the way we were helped before Little Fearse was born. I have also managed to pass on three excess baby items through Freecycle. I have previously mentioned op shop box ready to go and another box of items ready to list on Ebay. I feel good about this, but also a little anxious about what happens when we’ve shifted the easy stuff and it starts getting sentimental.

I’ll keep you updated.

All those lovely bits of paper.

Is it possible to become completely paper free? I read a post on The Non-Consumer Advocates FB page recently where a user claimed their household was entirely paper free. They used re-usable cloths for toilet paper, paper towel and tissues (I think, once upon a time, these were called HANDKERCHIEFS). They used cloth napkins, of course, and then had a big bag of rags for things that were too horrible to be cleaned up with a re-usable rag.

This has made me think a lot about how much paper we use in our household. We always recycle envelopes and blank-backed letters for note taking. Any other paper goes into the recycling bin. We do use tissues (tsk tsk), toilet paper (how do you explain to guests that this is a toilet paper free household?!) and occasionally napkins/serviettes. We can definitely stop using two of these…I can’t see myself becoming toilet paper free.

I’m a bit of an obsessive list maker, so I’m not sure how I’d go transferring that to another medium. Call me old fashioned, but I like to use a pen and paper for my lists. I wonder how BP would go writing songs on something other than paper? Surely that would stifle your creativity? Mind you, I’m very creatively creating this very blog entry straight onto a computer, so maybe I’m wrong. (And a little bit old fashioned.)

A friend and I have an ongoing disagreement about the value of Kindles (and such) for reading. I will eat my hat AND shoes if I one day choose to abandon paper books permanently in favour of the screen. (Bob, you have that in writing – published for all to see.) I’m really very sentimental about books. I was almost swayed when I read about the Worldreader charity, though. Maybe e-readers are the future. I won’t like it if they are, though.

I guess if we make the choice to use paper for things like note taking and reading we need to be really aware of how well they can actually be recycled. And if they can’t, if all those lovely bits of paper that we send off hopefully to the recycling plant actually end up in the trash, we need to be okay with that, or willing to make a change.

The recycling process (and it’s effectiveness) needs more research from me and perhaps a little time to deal with, because it’s likely that I’m not going to be okay with my hopeful bits of paper adding to our landfill or energy consumption. So I need to be willing to make a change.