It really was a Good Friday.

I took the time yesterday to fully realise how much I love Easter. I’m not a religious person and it hasn’t even been much of a family time for us traditionally. This Good Friday, however, I took my own advice. I slowed down. Thanks to the kindness of BP and the surprising compliance of Little Fearse I even slept in. Until 11 o’clock! BP noticed that not only was I moving slower yesterday, I was even speaking slower. Flipping through a recipe book was more like wading through a recipe book. I enjoyed every single moment of the day.

I noticed that the clouds in the sky hung particularly low and grey and made no shapes. I visited the garden and picked some flowers for our dinner table. I even did a little weeding. Maybe it’s because I have a daughter now, but Good Friday (and Easter in general) just feels like such a special time. It’s a time to spend together. No shops are open – I couldn’t even pick up a lemon for dinner. I visited my parents and grabbed one of theirs instead. I liked that.

We live in a fairly quiet neighbourhood, only really rowdy during school hours as we’re directly opposite a high school. Yesterday our street was full of cars visiting family and friends but the quiet that is normally present was muffled over again. It was like a soft blanket of peace had settled over our little valley.

My brother and parents came for dinner and it was perfect. The food was delicious (vodka steamed mussels are always a highlight), the conversation was effervescent, Little Fearse was entertaining and incredibly obliging of a later than usual night.

I did things yesterday – I made pancakes for breakfast (if you can call 1pm breakfast) and made my own bread rolls for the first time. I dropped off invitations in mail boxes and folded nappies. But I did it all so slowly that I enjoyed it, instead of feeling that frenzy of list ticking productivity I’d usually feel.

I like this slow pace. I like the things I noticed about yesterday and the things I had time to do because I wasn’t rushing. I stretched the hours and minutes of the day to suit my needs. It was a beautiful day, a memorable day.

Mamaxox

Slow and steady wins the race (if that’s what you choose life to be).

One of the unexpected joys of parenthood is being able to share new experiences with your child. That first taste of sand at the beach, or splash of water on her face at the water park, the first time she climbed something at the play centre, or her first time on a big kid swing at the park, her first introduction to the cows on Granny and Papa’s farm or picking her first strawberry from their garden.

We’ve found, however, that these experiences need to be interspersed with many days at home – being together. On these days we reconnect, slow down, listen to music and play. There is a lot of napping together and sharing our breakfasts and lunch. Sometimes we’ll make a family time-lapse video for our Fearse archives. A long walk around our neighbourhood gives us a chance to move and get some sun and fresh air. None of these things are spectacularly exciting, not something you’d, say, blog about, but they are probably the most important days for us as a family.

A friend posted this on FB the other day…

and it really struck a chord. You’re either busy or you’re not. Sometimes it’s a choice, sometimes it’s not. But slowing down – or just stopping – once in a while is so valuable and it is also a choice. If I had a say over your life, I’d say hey – stop! Slow down. Do nothing worth mentioning today. Don’t tick anything off your list. Notice the new growth in your garden. Spend 15 minutes watching a snail cross your pathway. Listen to the birds. Take an hour to eat breakfast or, better yet, sleep through breakfast and take two hours over lunch. I bet you’ll feel  better for it.

Gandhi says it more succinctly than me: ‘There is more to life than increasing its speed.’ 

Enjoy a slow and simple Easter, whether you’re eating chocolate, pretending you’re a bunny or laughing with your family across a table load of great food, do it slow and steady.

Mama xox

PS While very tongue in cheek , I like this link: http://slowdownnow.org/

Separation and Sentimentality

As I had previously promised here I was going to upload a video of me reorganising and de cluttering my home office/studio. I went in yesterday and set up the camera and then I stood still for an hour.

As I rummaged through my shelves and pursued my desk, I realised that a lot of what inhabits my studio is tied up in sentimentality in one way or another. Knick Nacks and Doo Dads that to the naked eye may appear to be useless or even rubbish but in one way or another hold some form of significance.

As a child I moved house 10+ times and with each successive move I learnt to pare down my belongings and often leave behind things that I had cherished. However as I got older and moved out of the parental household, I became more and more sentimental about “stuff” and have spent the better part of 10 years lugging it between apartments, share houses and now it’s final destination “The Fearse Cave”

The mountains of media really form the majority of the clutter in the office. The vinyl and cassette collection is off limits, I have spent most of my life cultivating it and cannot bring myself to part with it. What about the CD’s though, although I hate to admit it, the humble CD is basically a dead format, I can’t remember the last time that I popped a disc into any form of player and gave one a spin. I don’t even have a cd player in my car or a cd drive in my laptop. I could back them all up and donate them to the Op Shop but I’m really not sure how keen they’d be to receive a couple of hundred Hip Hop and Metal discs, even the humble Op Shop is limited in space. I’m at a loss as what to do with these, if anyone has any suggestions, I’m all ears.

Eagerly awaiting your ideas/responses

Big Poppa Fearse

Mama’s library

I have a constantly rotating library of books. Due to my former (cough cough) addiction to buying second hand books I have a great collection of recent literature and 20^th century classics with a particular focus on literature by women. I read book reviews regularly and try to stay aware of what’s good right now and what’s been good in the past. My Mum is also a voracious reader and will often lend or recommend books, as is my sister “in-law”. It might not be a particularly diverse collection, but it is a good quality collection of books.

Recently I went hunting for some books to lend to a member of my Mum’s group. I don’t really know her style yet but I do know that I have a good enough collection to have something in there that she’ll like. I realised that a lot of my favourite books are out on rotation. It makes me really happy to know that my books are read and read and read again. I have only very rarely had a book not returned, or returned so damaged it can no longer be read. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. I don’t think that a book is created to be read once then squirrelled away onto a shelf to gather dust. I never read a book twice. There are just too many wonderful books in the world to go back on one, no matter how much I’ve loved it. Passing it on to others is the perfect way of giving that book life over and over again.

Sometimes my books make it very far away. A friend will lend them to a family member or another friend. Even though this does make me feel a little anxious at times, I also recognise that it’s a good thing. It is a way of someone new being introduced to an author or a story that I’ve loved.

I’m not sure that the authors of these books would like to know that one purchase is being read by seven, eight, nine, sometimes ten people. I guess they’d like to sell ten copies of the books instead. Ecologically, this system makes buying books worth my while and it means I get to share the special place these stories create in my heart and mind with many other people.

Do you lend your books? Do you have a particular person you borrow your books from? I find it really interesting hearing how others feel about this issue, because I’ve found most people to be either very passionately for or against lending their books to others.

Keep reading!

Mama xoxo

PS For those who wanted to know how I went with my book voucher dilemma – I bought Light Between the Oceans and NW. I have leant them out already without reading them. I’ve been sadly stuck on Gone With the WInd since NOVEMBER. It’s beginning to drive me crazy. I can’t think of a time a book has taken me this long. Going back to work and having a non-sleeping now toddler gives me very little reading time. Can’t wait for the school holidays to rediscover my reading self.

PPS I have broken my book embargo already – I bought Roald Dahl’s Switch Bitch from an op shop on Friday for BP. I also have plans to buy two books for Little Fearse for her birthday with our remaining voucher. I’m getting this and this. How can I resist?!

Ruffle bum footsie pants.

I was tested this week. I think it’s the first time I have felt really tested since BNN began. I didn’t start 2013 a mad consumer. I’ve never been too interested in brands or status due to stuff. Occasionally it gets me (did I tell you about the Fred Bare cowboy dress I bought Little Fearse for $10?) but mostly I’m more interested in a bargain than a brand.

On Friday a friend took me into two brand name children’s wear shops. Just about every item melted my heart. Knitted jumpers with cute forest animals on the front! Beanies with bunny ears! Ruffle bum footsie pants! Paddington jackets! Onesies with cat prints! Oh, the possibilities.

I had to go to a special place in my mind, promising myself a ‘window shop’ of the children’s clothing section of Ebay when I got home. I can go without trendy or ‘must have’ items of clothing for myself so easily. My style is, well, let’s call it “easy wear with a dash of vintage”. I wear a lot of hand-me-downs. I don’t have to think much about what I put on. If it is comfortable and weather appropriate I’m usually happy. But Little Fearse? You just have to add a ruffle or a pair of ears to almost any of her outfits and she goes from baby to bawwwwwwwwwwwwwby. And I can’t resist the ‘aww’.

See what I mean? Awwww.

Mostly Little Fearse has been dressed in hand-me-downs from her male cousins and a few male and female friends, though she has had the very good fortune of also being lent the most amazing clothing from the above friend who loves buying designer. There is really no way  I can repay that generosity because she and I both know that I would never buy those clothes myself, and yet I love them so much. It’s through her willingness to buy them that both Little Fearse and my melty heart benefit.

Luckily we have found a way to make an exchange – I’ve started cooking her meals, something I love doing and she doesn’t. I love the way the world provides symbiotic relationships like this, don’t you?

Ahh community,

Mama xox

I bought something I didn’t need.

I went on a wild op shopping adventure through the ‘posher’ suburbs of Melbourne today, hosted by a friend who knows the area well. When I say “wild” I guess what I really mean is “whirlwind” because it didn’t end with us drinking tequila shots or buying ridiculous taffeta ball gowns. I think those days are over for me. At the end of the day we came home to our beautiful daughters, not a bad trade off.

I was pretty sensible today. I focused on stuff I needed (clothes for work and clothes for Little Fearse in size 2). I managed to find something from my list – a three photo frame – still in its packaging. I got Little Fearse a lovely stuffed Peter Rabbit for Easter. Apparently we are the kind of family who gives Easter gifts. I don’t think we were going to be that kind of family until toady when I went rabbit crazy at the op shop.

So, I was going along nicely buying things we needed or kind of needed or sort of needed and then I came across this…

Now, I expect you to be underwhelmed by this fruit bowl. I’m clearly some kind of tin weasel peckerwood looney because when I showed this to my friend and to BP they both made the same ‘meeehrgh’ sound. I think it’s sensational. All glassy and flowery and ready for my fruit. And it sure beats the very blah modern green ceramic bowl I currently have. I dig this fruit bowl. I’m going to see this fruit bowl first thing in the morning and feel satisfied.

See,I knew I’d never make it as a minimalist. Stuff makes me feel things.

All glassy eyed with consumerist goo,

Mama xoxo

PS Yeah, I’m categorising this as art. What you going to do about it?

The Rainbow Fish

I was reading The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister to my students the other day and it struck me that the lesson in the book can easily be interpreted as pro-minimalist. The fish is advised by the wise octopus to give away one of his most beautiful sparkling scales to each of his friends. It not only wins friends (hmm) but also relieves the fish from his concern about damaging or losing his shiny scales and allows him to frolic with the other fish.
Marcus Pfister is not wrong. Getting rid of stuff does relieve a lot of pressure. Especially if you have an upwardly mobile almost 11 month old baby roaming the house. As such a situation requires, all our dooby-wats and knickey-knacks have been moved off the bottom shelves and out of low flying cupboards. There are a lot of blank patches, once dust free. It gives you an opportunity to imagine life without those shelves of thing-i-mi-bobs that don’t have a purpose. Frankly, I’m not too fussed about that stuff anymore, no matter how cutesy vintage it is. Well, except the vintage Japanese kitten sugar bowl and milk jug. When you pour milk out of the spout it looks like the kitten is spewing. That’s entertainment right there.
Anyhoo, slight stray from topic. The other day some friends were over with their almost two year old son. He wandered off into another room and his Dad raced after him. I called out “Don’t worry if he breaks anything, it just gives us an excuse to get rid of it.” And you know what? It’s true.
As 2-4-1 carries on (current update: 15 in – 82 out ) the decisions are getting harder. We’re having to face the prospect of giving away sentimental objects and things we love for no reason except that they’re beautiful. Our thinking needs to shift even further to accommodate where the challenge is taking us. It’s kind of exciting.

Mama xo